top of page

WE ARE DIVINELY CREATED TO CHANGE. Why the incessant desire to fight what IS at every stage of Life?

We are Created to Outgrow Ourselves

When I was a preadolescent I began gaining a lot of weight. Funny me would entertain my family & friends during Summer with my donut belly that could hold water to splash. 😂 For a few years I was a pudge, but then I began to morph fast... faster than my tiny chest could contain the breasts that popped out to my & everyone else's surprise!!! Stretch marks were not easy to hide either peaking out the sides of swim suit tops, yet not as funny to joke around with so I was told & chastised. Being active in high school, I was quite solid, add a few firey smacks to the thighs playing soccer, my few inherited varicose veins blew up to massive leftover cherry spider veins I could not pull my cheerleading skirt down far enough to hide...and dare I go there @ those bloomers that really were & still are glorified underwear not always glorified even if in the form of bikini swimsuits. As a young adult I found I preferred all kinds of looks, especially bohemian...and my oh my wanna turn heads with hairy this n' that... why YES thank you very much, yes I do, & yes I do shave it all bare from time to time. Just depends how I am feeling, do you really I am feeling or anyone else for that matter if not for yourself all the time?

For a long time I needed the hefty DDs that pinched & sinched, had I not running would beat me up. Then with nursing children my body became an overflowing milk fountain that everyone saw a mile become, well, the droopy loos of my forties. 🤪 As I crest into my 50s my once perkies then droopies have reigned themselves in so much that I don't even need a bra any more!!! Wow what a circle back...through all my years Fluctuating between 115-195 at the height of my pregnancies, I find myself & my frame back to my lowest weight & most fit feeling of my entire life thus far.

I have long struggled with the mirror... and those shadows cast at my behind from the otherside of life's spotlights.

Even though inside I really did not, & still do not, give on i-owe-tah what other people thought of the way I looked to them then nor the way I look to them now. Although I must admit, the cat calls & pussy claws from the alleys of life really did & still do literally make my skin crawl especially if they get too close & try to rub their nasty tails on me & dare a-tempt to scratch me or another innocent one with mean n' nasty sharp biting clawish words of self insecurity. iykwim.

Body size & shape Divinely, Naturally, & CONSTANTLY change by VERY Design.

Dare holding poop in too long & you'll understand how both a$$ hole & pie hole$ both do end up spewing at some point in time.

We simply are not Created to re-strict, con-strict, nor contra-dict... we are



Our Own YOUnique Growth & Development doesn't mean something is wrong with us!!!

The World has a way of trying to tell us otherwise beginning much much earlier than MANY of us can remember when the world ways were first programming us to be judgemental. Babies hear & see much MORE than adults even think they can. Babies are sponges literally soaking & sucking IT ALL IN....into pudgy babies who are naturally breast fed storing up on mama's milk during cuddly months of growing so that when the focus of standing up & walking months "all by oneself" taking off then & there with handle bar reserves already right there! Adolescents tend to get smacked in the heart by those condescending comments snoody sneeds like to mindlessly throw around like the heavy stones they are.

Try as hard as we might, we cannot fight with mother nature without her putting up her own fight.

Rather than go round & round,

stepping out of the rings is a choice & just dancing as free as we please in our birthday suit Created exquisitely just for each one of us as this temporary host body that it is...swaying in the moon light, star light, & sun light ALL the same. There truly is no one else in the whole wide world just like any one of us.

Even twins will tell you of THIS deep down TRUTH.

I personally believe God Created these bodies for us to show & tell our scars with tender loving care, especially grace & mercy & unconditional love that are SO VERY RARE.

Try to INjoy each phase of life, the outward scape of our physical bodies INclude VERY visible signs of INevitable changes happening withIN our INward scape...oftentimes we fail to see much less turn our own eyes AND ears to hear what our own bodies are trying desperately to tell us.

Take notice of how you look at yourself, the emotions you feel, pay attention to ALL the feels especially the screaming pains that truly root to the thoughts you have long told yourself. Do you know why? Ask yourself? You do know yourself better than I & better than any one else? Or do you think you know everyone else better than you know yourself?


Nothing is wrong with you, but there is a whole lot wrong with the world & YES it did start with one hissing lie that has gone so viral as to be a-tempt-ing to strangle every man, woman, & child with boa $uper$ized con-$tricting LIE$, that are NOT feathery by any $trartch of the ever tight-IN-ing mean$ of meane$$ compul$orially conditioned in us all!

The ego i$ that dumb a$$ teacher who taught you the MOST but flunked you ju$t becau$e you showed up too earlier, right on time, or too late that $eem$ to have mattered a whole hell of a LOT.

The Reflection in the mirror itself does not lie,

the reflection simply just is what it is. It is the mind that plays sly tricks on us again h again with loop-dee-loops & dare we be care-full of when we turn our own backs on that mirror of ours and unconsciously project our own self destructive thought patterns outwardly upon others who deserve NOT the shame, blame, & guilt we choose to carry inside of ourselves.

Unconditional Love for EVERYTHING about others truly comes from withIN & thus radiates out.

If we stop to understand that EVERYTHING withIN radiates out & shows & tells patterns of what we cannot see from the outside but certainly do feel on the inside that often we ourselves choose to ignore even to dead last.

Dishomeostasis on the inside shows signs on the outside long far before dis-ease symptoms are ignored & numbed that left neglected become the translucent pictures hanging on lighted boxes lining generic colored cinder block walls.

Kaitlyn Bouchillon's exquisite penmanship of her wide open heart that she freely shares laid bare right here with mine,

is not uncommon. Speaking as wide open as we both do, is strangely to me, uncommonly rare.

Allow both your uncommon rarity & not uncommon rarity be the INspiration & INcouragement to drop the struggle once and for all, & simply embrace Authenticity for the sake of REALness, for Heaven's Sake. And yes, Heaven is for real.

When you have laid dead upon a table with your spirit body hovering farther & farther away, life just never ever looks the same once you have Awakened & found you are very transfigured on the INside, though to others from the outside you somehow either look the same or so peculiar they just cannot describe what they sense even if they put their finger on it.



5 views0 comments


Post: Blog2_Post
bottom of page